This 65-year-old women is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her.

He watches her awhile and then says, "You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?"
She says "I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year old." She starts laughing and jumping again.
He says "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year old ass?"
She says, "well your name never came up."

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full-length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years? The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your arse".